Mommy on a Diet

I gained a little bit of weight over the holidays. Okay…so, I gained about 15 pounds over the holidays. I was traveling quite a bit for work from the months of November to January, and instead of hitting the gym 3-4 times a week on my lunch hour, I was doing well to make it once a week. Also, all the holiday fare, the cold weather, blahblahblah…. Long story short, I just gave up on the gym and watching what I ate for a couple of months. While I wasn’t watching, the laziness and gluttony ended up on my ass.

I didn’t even much care until my clothes got tight. I mean, tight where my spanx body shaper wouldn’t even conceal the damage. I mean, just getting into my spanx in the morning was kicking my fat behind. One morning after grunting, panting, moaning and sweating into my shaper only to realize that my fat was only encased into a weird sausage type shape with a large dose of muffin top exploding over the edge, I realized I had two choices; buy new clothes and accept the new sausage link shape or get off my lazy arst and lose some weight. Begrudgingly, I chose the latter.

Let me just add here: BT can pretty much eat what he wants and not gain an ounce. Summuma biscuit eater…If he does gain, he just cuts back a little bit and is back in order in no time. True, he plays basketball at least three to four times a week, but to him a diet means he doesn’t have the fries with his value meal. …insert me rolling eyes…

After much trial and error, I know that for me to lose weight I can’t just work out. If that was the case, I’d be like a size 0. I can be a working out fool, because I like the way it makes me feel. I like combining interval cardio with strength training, or sometimes I will do plyometrics type work outs, or short bursts of high intensity cardio mixed with high rep low weight strength training. I love sweating myself silly! If I’m at an ideal weight, it is enough to help me maintain it and tighten things up, but if I need to lose a significant amount of weight I need to clean up my diet to make the sweat sessions pay off.

The thing that tends to work for me pretty quickly and consistently is lower carb combined with lower fat. So basically, I cut back on everything I like to cook and eat. And while it works to lose weight, Mommy without a piece of bread is NOT a happy Mommy. I didn’t even notice it until one day I was already feeling a little edgy and BT had the nerve to come home with carry-out Mexican from our favorite restaurant. I was pissed about his audacity to bring home fatty, carby, food while I was trying my best to be non-sausage like. I started to lose my mind a little bit and my sister (Who lives with us) screams, “Somebody get that girl a cupcake! This is enough you crazy wench! You get ridiculous when you are on a diet…YOU NEED A CARB!”

BT just sat back in smugness, perfectly content in allowing Sissy to step into the warzone while he took his place at the table and dug into a plate of something smothered in cheese and sauce.

LT walks over to me, looks up with big curious eyes full of concern and says, “Mommy? You otay? You need a cupcake?”

Of course, then I was really ready to lose my damn mind. But somewhere in my ketosis induced brain fog, I realized she had made a point. I DO need a carb! There is a reason why I feel like everything tastes better as a sandwich. Or why given the choice betwen meat and potatoes, I’ll likely choose the potatoes. Especially if both of the previous foods involve cheese! And add bacon to that? Fuggetaboutit!

Ok…focus here…

Anyway, so maybe extreme restrictions in diet do make me an unhappy camper. Certainly, there must be a space somewhere in between the extremes of dieting and gluttony for happy Mommy.

I’m dedicated to getting back my sexy. Or at least getting comfortably back into my clothes. I let WORLD NUTELLA DAY 2011 pass without so much a dollop of the chocolate hazelnutty goodness for God’s sake!! I’ve rededicated myself to gym time, and vowed to put down the cupcakes… though I DO bake a mean cupcake. And first and foremost, pay attention to my body and what it needs. If I’m teetering on the edge of reason, yahhh…I’ll take that carb. Just not the refined, bad for you kind.

So if you peek in my kitchen window sometime and see me in the dark prowling around in the pantry looking like a wild wolf in heat, pay no attention to the crazy lady within…Sometimes a girl just needs a carb.